BEARDBOY CONTEST

As we enter this third day-cluster of The Bloom, it's time for that islandwide celebration of the hirsute, The Beardboy Contest. Residents should register all hairy-face-offerings at their nearest parish chin-registration booth. (There's one in all ten parishes, except Kraw, after last cycle, where regsitrars were overwhelmed by the high numbers of men - and even larger number of ladies - entering their fun-fur. This resulted in a splintered booth, two broken trestles and multiple bruising on the volunteers). Remember to have both your beard's REAL name and KENNEL names with you when you sign up. And don't forget, it is now a level 6 offence to enter 'falsies', 'wool whiskers' or 'strap-on sideboards'.