Tessellator 174
1067 tessellators currently monitor every square theritson of the island (except for slapper’s rock). First introduced in 1330-va-va, the tessellator was invented by Hemry Omster (red hair, brown eyes), whose initial model was originally dubbed ‘the watchy box’ and was constructed from shellac, chippings, bits of wire, reconstituted animal hair and sandal straps (donated by close friends). The first tessellator was erected on a plinth of igneous rock at the centre of Flynte, Jinsy’s capital, opposite the potato shop, and unveiled in high winds by Arbiter Sussussusson (brown hair, red eyes) at dawn on the first day of ‘The Bloom’ to an eager-if-wind-blown crowd. Instantly popular and useful, tessellators immediately went into production and were introduced into the chalets of all residents, then numbering a mere 403. The first official Infod Pak instructed islanders on how to turn their tessellators on but sadly, as no one had yet worked out how to turn their tessellators on, only one viewer witnessed this historic moment. In 1360-va-va the discovery of remouldable trempersest (a highly adaptable but unattractive metal) led to the version 4, the most recent model of the tessellator, now featuring nozzles a, b and c, the beige lever, clear blue button and dispensing sphincter. Tessellators are great. Fun, happy, laugh-out-loud. Great. They need to be kept warm and dry except in hot weather when they must be moist and clammy, like jelly to the touch. Stroke your tessellator very gently to improve reception. Great. |
